From the Gospel of Pedalion 12:1-12
- And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from the mayor of the cycling city of Velocipolis, that all should be registered. Each citizen was to journey unto their hometown, there to be recorded, along with their beloved bicycles.
- And Joseph, a humble craftsman of wheels and gears, went up from the town of Spokeshire in the hills of Galileon, unto the city of Gearusalem, which is also called the City of Chains, for he was of the house and lineage of the great cycle-makers of old. He took with him Mary, his betrothed, who was heavy with child.
- Now as they journeyed, Mary rode upon a sturdy bicycle, crafted of polished wood and steel, for the way was long and her strength was great. And Joseph pedaled beside her, guiding their path with care, for the roads were rough and the hills steep.
- And so it was that while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. But lo, there was no room for them in the hostels nor in the bike shops of the city. Every space was filled with travelers and their bicycles.
- And they found refuge in a humble workshop behind an inn, where the air was sweet with the scent of oiled chains and freshly forged frames. There, Mary brought forth her firstborn son, and she wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a basket affixed to a cargo bike, for there was no cradle to be found.
- And in the fields nearby, there were shepherds keeping watch over their flocks of bicycles by night. And lo, an angel of the Lord appeared unto them, and the glory of the divine shone round about them, and they were sore afraid.
- And the angel said unto them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all who ride. For unto you is born this day in the city of Gearusalem a Savior, which is Christ the Cyclist. And this shall be a sign unto you: ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a cargo bike.”
- And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly peloton, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth, smooth paths and fair winds to all.”
- And the shepherds said one to another, “Let us go now even unto Gearusalem, and see this thing which is come to pass.” And they rode with haste, their lanterns shining bright upon their handlebars.
- And when they arrived, they found Mary and Joseph, and the babe lying in the cargo bike. And they bowed before Him, their hearts full of awe, and they shared the good news with all who would hear.
- And far in the East, wise cyclists beheld a great light in the sky, a star shining bright as the beacon of a headlamp. And they journeyed from afar, bringing gifts of gold-plated gears, frankincense-scented oil, and myrrh, a balm for weary hands and feet.
- And thus the world rejoiced, for the Savior had come, not with chariots or steeds, but humbly, with wheels and pedals, to teach the joy of the journey and the path of peace.
Amen.