BLINK-182 - ALWAYS

I’ve been here before a few times
And I’m quite aware we’re dying
And your hands, they shake with goodbyes
And I’ll take you back if you’d have me

So here I am, I’m trying
So here I am, are you ready?

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you, all night
Always

And I’ll miss your laugh, your smile
I’ll admit I’m wrong if you’d tell me
I’m so sick of fights, I hate them
Let’s start this again, for real

So here I am, I’m trying
So here I am, are you ready?
So here I am, I’m trying
So here I am, are you ready?

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you, all night
Always
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you, all night
Always

I’ve been here before a few times
And I’m quite aware we’re dying

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you, all night
Always
Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you
Always
Kiss you, taste you, all night
Always
Always
Always

HOW COULD I HAVE DOUBTED

I stopped looking for you
I stopped waiting for you
I stopped dying for you
and I started dying for myself

I aged rapidly
I became fat in the face
and soft in the gut
and I forgot that I ever loved you

I was old
I had no focus, no mission
I wandered around eating and buying
bigger and bigger clothes
and I forgot why I hated
every long moment that was mine to fill

Why did you come back to me tonight

I can’t even get off this chair
Tears run down my cheeks
I am in love again
I can live like this

  — Leonard Cohen (b. 1934), Canadian poet, composer, author

Okay … so I’m not actually studying drugs, but I sure seem to be taking a lot of them.

I’m so tired of taking pills, and I consume at least 11, every day, for various ailments. Anti-depressants, anti-spasmodics, migraine meds, prescription analgesics (non-narcotic), vitamins, and so on.

The worst part is having to take medication to sleep; and even that medication doesn’t work as well as it should. Last night, I went to bed at 9:30, and basically just laid there until about 11:00 when I finally drifted off. Then I woke up at 2:30 … was awake until about 3:30, when I drifted off again, before getting up at my usual 5:00-5:30.

So while 9:30-5:30 sounds good, in reality, I only got about 5 hours of sleep.

This is typical.

I don’t think it’s the caffeine, since I’ve cut WAY back, and generally don’t consume any after about 2:00 anymore … and I take most of my meds in the morning, so unless any of them have speedy/stimulating side-effects that only hit 16 hours later, that’s not it either.

One of these days, I’ll be able to stop taking pills, and will still be able to get a good night’s sleep.