One of my co-workers quizzed me on my nonexistent dating habits today … I think she was trying to ascertain whether or not I like women or men … it is women, by the way, although I’m sure that many have wondered along the line.
She seemed surprised that I don’t really have an urge to date grandmothers, especially since I don’t have any kids or grandkids of my own (thank God … I’m too young for that).
Of course, she also seemed surprised to find out how old I am …
Sometimes it’s feels like all that is available is grandmothers or age-inappropriate (but absolutely legal) youngsters. Can’t connect to one because of the whole family thing; can’t connect to the other, because they just don’t get it … there are cultural references that are kind of important.
So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I don’t put myself out there for anything more than friendship.
Then, there’s the whole body-type thing.
Everyone has a particular body type to which they are most attracted … for me, it’s always been petite women with nice round hips/butts. Breast size has always been less important; in fact, most of the time I seem to prefer women with smaller chests … but I’ve always liked the butt. Preferably a nice, firm athletic butt, but a butt none the less.
When I was married, there was nothing more comforting than falling asleep with my hand gently cupping my now ex-wife’s perfect little round behind.
I am, to put it somewhat crassly, an ass-man. Some people have called me an asshole, but that’s a different situation altogether; one which I’ve been working very hard to change. Even my ex-wife got in on that action, before we split, but thankfully no thereafter (at least that I’m aware of).
I’ve always wondered how attraction works … why I have one particular body type that I like, and why others like another body type.
A couple years ago, I wrote a blog post about my preference for smaller cup sizes … and got guff about it; but a few months before that I posted an article about a study that indicated that curvier women tend to produce more intelligent offspring, especially with regards to the waist-hip ratio. I didn’t get any crap then for indicating that I prefer women with curvy butts/hips and smallish chests … which made me wonder “why now” at the time of the second article.
Who knows what kind of crap I’ll get for writing this post. It will probably be because I write something along the lines that most of of the women that I’ve ever really been attracted to have had flaws of some sort … some that they hated, but which to me made them more real, more human, and thus more beautiful. My friend and framebuilder Richard Sachs has a saying, “Imperfection is Perfection”; the t-shirt on which I first read those words spoke to me, because they echoed what I had long thought. It’s the imperfections that make a person unique, and thus perfect.
Do I gravitate towards women with these “flaws” with an unconscious feeling that because they are “broken” (albeit often in their own minds), and because of my own broken-ness (definitely in my own mind? Or is it (as I like to think), that I have the ability to look beyond the shell, beyond the presentation, and to see the real woman, the real person underneath?
At this point, I’m not sure I’ll ever know … my appetite for the chase has long since waned. And just once … just once, I’d like to be the chasee; for someone to see beyond MY flaws and see and love the (hopefully) beautiful inner Sheffield. I had that once, but didn’t recognize it when I did. I’d sure love to have that feeling again.
One day, perhaps. One day.