No matter where you go …

Feeling very down in the dumps today.

A number of friends going through events I can’t really help them with, as much as I want to … I recognize that some things people have to deal with in their own time, in their own manner.

I’m also feeling very isolated & alone myself, like my connections are very tenuous and fleeting … not only do I wonder who I can count on on there when times are rough, but also am feeling like there’s really no one out there with whom I can share my successes and joys (not that have been many of those recently).

I find myself wondering if I should pack up and leave Utah behind me, much as I did San Francisco when moving here almost 10 years ago. Of course, when I moved then, I was newly married, and Kim and I were starting on a new adventure together. Now, I feel like I’m looking for as escape from everything that’s wrong in my life and the world.

Unfortunately, there’s really no way to leave that stuff behind.

As commonly attributed to Confucius (but popularized by Buckaroo Banzai), “no matter where you go, there you are.” You can’t leave yourself behind, no matter how much you may want to.

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2 Comments

  1. Sorry about the “dumps” feelings – certainly can relate. It’s possible that you under-estimate the support factor though – in that i think there is more of it there for you than you might think.

  2. I too can totally relate to these feelings. My impending move is forced upon my by my employer. Change is never hard, and while I sometimes hated my current location with a passion, I find myself staring at the shotgun of change with fear, even though the new destination is so much better…

    There are far worse places to be than Utah, my friend.

    Keep riding and keep up the poetry posts…

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