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A thought to ponder

Here’s a question to ponder: when you’re in your 40s, but you’d still like to be a parent someday, do you think it would be better to:

a) date someone relatively close to your same age who already has children?


b) date someone younger (late 20s/early 30s) who can still have children without significant health risk?

In my mind, there are pros and cons to both the insta-family and “natural” family approach, which I’ll elaborate on in as I get comments … but I really want to hear your thoughts on this one before expressing my own.

Of course, since I’m not currently dating anyone, and really don’t see any likely prospects for either of the options above, the whole discussion may be moot …

5 Comments on "A thought to ponder"

  1. Adoption?

  2. I know parents with kids the same age as mine, but the parents are 10 years older than me. 40’s are not too late to have your own kids. So take age out of it and you are left with starting your own family or inheriting one. I’ve enjoyed watching my own kids grow and flourish, to see bits of me in them. And while I could easily love someone else’s child, I think I would feel more disconnected. Hard to say since I’ve never been in that position.

  3. Just my opinion. As long as your open to new experiences, then either is fine. Don’t limit yourself by not dating the taboo,girl plus kids. Just remember all that you put in it might come back in unexpected “gifts” of pain or joy all depends on the previous “history” of the others experiences.

  4. I would put far greater stock in WHO a person is, and how a relationship brings out the best (as opposed to the worst) in each other than the markers of age, or with or without kids.

    Their are pros & cons to each, as you said, but yaknow, kids do eventually grow up & move away, and if they come already with kids, it might not be that many years. Then it’s just the two of you.

    That better be the most important litmus test, total awesomeness between the two people.

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