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The Do’s and Don’ts of Splitting Up

I don’t think that going public with whatever the problems were is appropriate. He/she hasn’t said a single bad thing about you, but you have put all sorts of negativity out there about him/her. Because of the tone of that, his/her position is currently more sympathetic. That doesn’t mean that behind the scenes he’s/she’s in the right and you’re in the wrong, but people are giving him/her the benefit of the doubt.

We feel bad for you too, but you’re coming across as the bad guy, not because of anything he/she has said, but because of your own actions in the aftermath.

I don’t think any of your friends are going to drop you; I certainly won’t … but I’m not going to stop being friends with him/her either. I don’t want to choose sides in these things. I base my opinions and my actions on my own experiences with people involved, and am perfectly capable of maintaining friendships on both sides. If people can’t maintain their friendship with me because of that, then c’est la vie.

It’s not about proving anything. Trying to prove that someone else is in the wrong most often backfires and makes you look bad. I know from experience that it’s far better to take the high road. Sometimes it’s just better to know that you’re right in your heart, and not trying to prove it to others.

I tell you these things because I do care. If I didn’t, I’d just write the whole thing off, but that’s not who I am.