Cougars v. MILFs

It’s been too long since I’ve been part of any bar scenes to really have a current take, but when I lived in San Francisco (1989-2001), a cougar was NOT something that any woman should aspire to be.

Cate Blanchett epitomizes style and grace ...
Cate Blanchett epitomizes style and grace ...
Cougars were older women, once attractive, but a bit past their “sell-by” date; typically trying to pass for someone much younger than they actually were, overly made-up, wearing fashions typically seen on much younger women (think tight animal prints and sequins spelling out some logo across their fake boobs), trolling for younger men in bars as a method of self-validation that they were still worthwhile.

This was complemented by MILF, a term for which I’m sure every one knows the definition. MILFs were also attractive older women, but generally with their shit together, dressed fashionably, but with class. MILFs didn’t need to troll younger men for validation … men of all ages pursued them, and more often than not were shot down, because validation didn’t come from whom they dated, but from within.

Think Diane Keaton vs. Cher. Think Diane Lane or Cate Blanchett vs. Sharon Stone or Demi Moore. Think glamour and style vs. fashion and trends.

10 years ago, we considered cougars to be pathetic; but it now seems that many women are trying to reclaim and rehabilitate the term, much in the same way that the gay community is reclaiming “queer” … so these days, who knows?

What are your thoughts, dear readers? Is it better to be a cougar or a MILF? Is either a good thing?


  1. From a womens point of view Id rather be a MILF cause a cougar is the nasty old lady at the bar that all boot jar heads sleep with cause she’s easy !! That’s all I have to say about that :P

  2. MILFs are always good. Cougars can be good or bad.

    I believe my generation would define them in this way:

    MILFs don’t have to be an older woman. She could be 25 or 45, the two requirements are that she’s a mother and she is fuckable.

    Technically, cougars are just older women on the prowl for younger men.

  3. Oh, and yeah, Kate Blanchett is hot, talented, and stunningly beautiful. Good choice for the illustration. She’s the best in every respect.

  4. It depends on your age. At 19 I would probably have said Cougar. The whole Mrs Robinson thing. Today I would say MILF. You also forgot the Whiskey Biatch. But that is a completely different animal.

  5. I’d rather be a cougar – that means no kids…a MILF has to have kids, right? Besides you don’t have to troll the bars for hot young men…that’s what bike races are for ;)

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