I don’t know if it’s the changing weather (like it is for the Mistress), or if there is something else going on, but I just cannot get my head into the game.

My motivation levels are near-nil, and I find that right now I’m basically just on cruise control. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I eat too much, watch some TV, and go to bed. On weekends, I may give myself a respite by heading up one of the canyons, but the past couple of weeks, even that hasn’t really helped a whole lot.

I’m looking for inspiration from without, because I’m certainly not finding any from within.

I can’t write, at least not expressively … my pens and journals are just sitting there. I’m not feeling artistically inclined towards my cameras … I’m just carrying them around, but not pulling them out and using them.

My bikes are in the closet, or leaning against the counter in the dining room, tires flattening, chains drying, and even the last couple of days I’ve been skiing have been less than exceptional.

I’m deep in a funk, and I don’t know how to pull myself out right now; and I’m not sure how everyone else can put on such a happy face all the time. I listen to what other people tell me about what’s going on in their lives, much of which is often more difficult than what I’m having to deal with, and yet, they seem like they’re able to just deal with it and move on, while I find myself wallowing in in the muck that is my mind.

Definitely not doing the Big Ring thing these days. I dunno, Train, maybe I should give up the “Flahute” monicker and put away the Ferlinghetti and Kerouac, and start pulling out the Maya Angelou and Sylvia Plath.