I run the email mailing list for the Cutthroat Racing team, which means, that I get to see all of the lovely administrative emails (and spam) that come through the server, and make sure they don’t get delivered to the rest of the list.

Recently, some of our emails have been getting rejected by one team member’s company for “offensive language”.

In the first set of emails that were rejected, I had problems figuring out what the offensive language was; the two main possibilities I came up with were “peeing” or “morning dump” since those two words/phrases seem to be the main commonalities in the bounces that I’m got back … unless it’s the word “LOTOJA”, that is.

So, in the interest of being as inoffensive as possible, I have been forced to lay down a vocabulary directive.

It’s not “peeing”, it’s “passing liquid waste products through the ureter” … and it’s not “morning dump” but “completion of the ante meridiem digestive solid waste disposal”.

Then, this morning, I got another set of rejected emails … in this case, it was much easier to determine what the foul language is.

It’s not “nude” or “naked”, but “devoid of form-fitting outer fabric-based garments” …

No more “masturbation”, but “the act of physically self-pleasuring the inner-or-outer naughty bits which should really only be used when practicing the reproductive arts with a legally-entwined partner of the opposite gender as defined by the Defense of Marriage Act of 2004” …

It’s not “beer”, but “self-carbonated beverages containing brewed and fermented malt, hops, and yeast”.

We really must get a grip on our language … after all, remember that we live in God’s country.