A number of people I know are going through the divorce and/or break-up process right now … and it’s easy for me to understand what they’re going through, up to a point … their not-soon-enough-to-be-ex-spouses (ex-spices?) are making their lives difficult.

As an ex-husband-to-be, I decided that it would just make my life easier if I pretty much completely acquiesced on everything …

You want the house? Sure, as long as I get to keep my 401(k) intact.

You want the cat? Sure, she was yours before you met me.

You wanna start dating someone else before our divorce is even filed, much less finalized? Sure! (grumble grumble bitch whine moan).

From filling out the paperwork to finalization took about 2-3 weeks total, and I don’t come out looking like the bad guy, even though it was pretty much my fault the marriage started falling apart anyway because of my fears of commitment (despite having been married for 5 years), self-loathing, feelings of inadequacy, ADD and dysthymia, which pretty much prevented me from allowing myself to actually engage and be part of the marriage in the first place.

It took me a while before I realized that my life is better now … especially now that I’m buying my own place again, and exiting the limbo status I’ve been in for the past 11 months.

I think I’m finally in full-on recovery mode. My therapist is bragging about me to my career counselor (whom she recommended), so I’m either doing something right, or am very good at fooling the professionals whilst simultaneously fooling myself.

I’m gonna be some catch someday, huh?

All I need to do is to find someone who digs short, fat, bald guys who talk a lot about bikes, but rarely actually seem to get out and ride them anymore. Know anyone who fits the bill?

Even better if she gets cyclocross, because where else can you have so much fun feeling like you’re going to puke after only 20 minutes on the bike with the realization that you’re only half-way done?