Can I tell you how much I hate Hallmark Holidays? Holidays which exist for really no other reason than to sell greeting cards?

I’ve always felt that I shouldn’t need a special day of the year to express to someone how much I care about them … I should be able to do this each and every day, and if I want to go above and beyond, why do I need an arbitrary date, rather than just surprising my friend/lover/partner/spouse/whomever with an expression of love/lust/friendship/whatever?

Of course, I feeI was a miserable failure at this too, which I think helped lead to my separation and divorce (which should be finalized this week) …

So today, I’m not going to wish people a Happy Valentine’s Day … I’m going to wish them a Happy Fertility Festival! For those of you with a partner … Happy HUMP Day. For those of us without … Happy Wednesday. Or better yet … Happy St. Valentine’s Massacre Day!

It’s gonna be a fucking long non-fucking day.