I didn’t think it was possible to have a shitty day skiing, thinking that even a bad day on the slopes is still a pretty good day. But I was seriously proven wrong today.

Barely 5800 feet of vert today. 5 lift rides, and off the mountain by 11:00 am. Head just wasn’t in the game, and I don’t really know why. Generally, a day at Solitude is good for clearing my head, but for some reason, nothing came together right today.

So now I’m home, in my pajamas, watching a movie that I already watched earlier today (“The Station Agent“, excellent movie, by the way).

Maybe it’s the tagline, “Loneliness is much better when you have got someone to share it with.”

That’s definitely I have been feeling lately … so very, very much alone. I don’t feel like I can even talk to the people who are closest to me about what’s going on, because they have their own issues they’re working through; and I don’t feel like the I know the new people in my life well enough to fully open up.

So I sit here and type this. Alone. Depressed. Feeling like life is passing me by, and I just can’t reach out to seize it.

Netflix, Inc.