I am in one of the deepest, darkest funks I’ve been in in a long time today; and it all started late yesterday afternoon.

I damn near had a breakdown while I was driving to my counseling appointment last night, and wasn’t doing much better during it. It’s been a long time since my stress levels made me physically ill, but last night was one of those nights.

Barely slept, even with the melatonin. Took the wrong exit on the way to work this morning and had to circle all the way through the morning airport traffic, waiting for people to load and unload at the terminals, before I could get back on to Bangerter southbound; all I can think about right now is going home, drinking myself into oblivion, and crawling back into bed.

But, that’s not going to happen, because people are relying on me, both at work and at the UT CX series final tomorrow.

There has got to be an easier way to get through this.

Feelings like this tend to trigger a fight or flight response … either fight the feelings or try to run away and escape them somehow; neither is really a solution. The only other option is to stand there, face them, and accept them. This is what I’m trying to do, but fuck me, it’s hard.