Part of me really hates this time of year … oh, sure, I love it when winter is rolling in, when the snow is starting to fall, and ‘cross and/or ski seasons are in full swing.

Then there’s the holidays. The turning of a harvest celebration into football and overeating, followed by mad dashes to the malls the following day. The commercialization of what was supposed to be one of the greatest miracles in the history of mankind … Christmas music and decorations are starting to appear before Hallowe’en is over, and it just keeps rolling, rolling, rolling and doesn’t stop until January.

I know a lot of people would consider me to be a lost soul, either in the more figurative “you’re gonna burn in hell” sense, or in the more literal “you’re lost and confused” sense; one thing I do know, is that to me this time of year is when I try to get back in touch with the inner me.

Usually, I fail pretty miserably, since I tend to have an anxiety attack anytime anything takes me out of my comfort zones.

With all that has happened in the past year, however, I’m hoping that this next year I’ll be able to dig in a little deeper before retreating to safety, that I’ll be able to challenge my own preconceptions, and finally really be able to grow up and become the person that I’ve always wished I was.

I’ve floundered around for 40 years, and while in many ways I’ve made it work for me, I know there’s so much more out there if I can just get past my anxiety and just make steps in some direction, preferably the right direction, but anything is better than the stagnant, deep-rooted spot that I’m in now.

Yep … here it is, the day before Thanksgiving, and I’m already thinking about my New Years resolution. I’m just as roped in as everyone else.